16 down, 19 to go

Not much to say, back at home tonight. Dad was fine when he got out of radiation. I went ahead and left because Sonya was on her way and I wanted to beat the traffic, the rain, and the darkness. Made it here safely and she made it there safely. I am sure she will pick up where I am leaving off......... Shannon

The Calling

I believe some folks are called to endure great hardships because God knows they will rely on Him, shine the light and can testify through the pain of His great love. If that be our families calling I am honored. As I spend time around the Hope Lodge I see many families called to the same and although it is sometimes tough and the suffering is real, it is humbling and encouraging to be in the presence of such courageous people. This journey may not end in April, it probably won't as we know with cancer you can be a survivor but you are never really fully healed while here on this earth. Its a journey that last a lifetime. In all that cancer does, it changes you weather you are the patient or the family member. So whatever journey we have been called to, we will walk it to the best of our ability and strive for one more day to show Gods immeasurable power. Yes our God is powerful, He is mighty, and He is in control. He is limitless. While cancer when you look at it for all it really is in this world, is so small, so limited ....... Cancer cannot cripple love, it cannot shatter hope, it cannot corrode faith, it cannot eat away peace, it cannot destroy confidence, it cannot kill friendship, it cannot shut out memories, it cannot silence courage, it cannot invade the soul, it cannot reduce eternal life, it cannot quench the Spirit, it cannot lessen the power of the resurrection! As long as we don't let it! Want proof? Visit Hope Lodge, those folks can testify to it.
Keep loving God and loving people;
TW

Trying to hold it together

I have been sitting in the waiting room. One of the couples staying at the lodge were also here for treatment. She fell in the waiting room. Her husband said she was experiencing some numbness in her foot that was making it hard to stand or walk. After they called dad back we began to talk. His wife started with breast cancer some years ago. A few months after they told her she was cancer free, she began to have some more problems. Further testing revealed it had spread to her lungs and lymph nodes around her bronchial area. After trying to do chemo again she started having severe headaches and more testing showed it had spread to her brain. They are now trying to do radiation but can not pin point the exact area because about 20 years ago this lady had a brain anneurism and has a metal clip in her head. Therefore they can not do an MRI. Wow. Her husband said in the last 6 months she has really went downhill and he doesn't really expect her to make it another 3 months. We also talked about losing a loved one suddenly compared to this. I was doing everything I could to hold it together when they brought his wife out. Whew. The conversation ended abruptly which was probably a good thing because I really don't know how much more I could handle without losing it. In my mind I guess this whole treatment plan ends in April, but the more I talk to people, the more I realize, it probably won't. shannon

Christmas Tree on the 3rd floor of the Hope Lodge

Shannon decorated this Christmas Tree yesterday. It is located on the 3rd floor of the Hope Lodge.

15 down, 20 to go

Treatment went well today. No nausea. No food either. We just finished the 6th boost for the day. Whoever is here will have to keep a good count because he tried to convince me he had already had six today. Some things never change. He said you can't bull**** the bull****er.
Anyways, I would be happier with seven a day but we will see. Hopefully he will put a few pounds back on. USF students provided dinner tonight. He tried a little mashed potatoes but ended up just drinking the boost. OK, goodnight. Talk to you tomorrow. Shannon

Waiting on #15

Sitting in the waiting room waiting on #15. Funny, I don't really know why but Pop and I are sitting with our backs to each other. Maybe, so I can see the hallway and watch the people and so he can see the door when they call him back. We are talking over our shoulders like we are trying to do it discreetly....??? Weird.
It has been a good day so far although he hasn't really ate today. I do know that with the three boost and grape juice and banana, he has had about 1300 calories. I tried to make him some easy mac with heavy cream instead of water. 600 calories for a bowl. He couldn't eat it so I did. It was really good, but I don't need an additional 600 calories. He drank two boost instead.
Life this morning at the Hope Lodge was interesting. They needed volunteers to help decorate for Christmas so I decorated the tree on the third floor. It was nice. I will try to post a picture later.
Other than that, I played Bingo last night but I didn't win because those women who have been there for weeks already are pros. They play like six cards at a time. I sat next to the man from Grand Cayman because no one else would. Afterwards, I understood why. I don't know his name, they call him Cayman. He looks Hawaiian but speaks with an accent, an island accent. I love it. He doesn't play bingo so well though. He is seriously ADD. He gets distracted and then asks you what they just called. While you are telling him, they call another and you miss it, or I did anyways. Now we are both lost. When he gets a number he nudges you to show you he got one. Ok, lost again. Now I have to ask someone else what number they called. Maybe I am the one who is ADD but I do understand why no one would sit by him now. It may be why I didn't win.
This morning we had two new residents move in. They walked through the dining room and everyone said "Welcome". Wow. How nice right? Al, who is the middle aged guy with Sarcoma is now taking Doug, (the little guy with the cancer sucks pin) and Cayman to the store. One of the residents here was hospitalized last night and it has been the buzz all morning. They think he might have pneumonia. His wife is from Albany, Georgia and reminds me alot of mom. She about had me rolling on the floor laughing because her husband sent her back over to the lodge to "cool off". He was worried about her 'showing out' she said and giving them doctors a piece of her mind. Last night I watched a husband fix dinner for his wife. She was so thin and frail it was scary. My heart went out to her and him. Today I see another husband and wife sitting on the couch in the living area watching a movie. These are very young couples. He has on a mask. That usually means they are residents of the fourth floor, which are the bone marrow patients and such. Later, in walks the wife of "coach". He has pancreatic cancer and is a big guy. He has lost over 100 pounds. I haven't seen him since I have been here. I was a little worried. Mondays he gets chemo and has been sick. He is a little better today. Later, Al, Doug, and Cayman are going over to see Jeff, (the resident who was hospitalized). I know I am rambling now, but my point is the closeness and caring you feel in this place. The best part about it is, everyone is smiling. Even "coach" who hasn't been down until today is smiling. The optimism here is absolutely contagious. There is no whining or complaining, only concern for fellow residents. Will update later, Shannon

14 down 21 to go

Ok, I apologize that this coming this morning and not last night. I brought a movie with me to watch not really expecting that Pop would want to watch it also, but he did. So we watched the whole thing and by the time it was over I actually forgot about doing the blog....sorry!
Yesterday was a good day. There wasn't any nausea. His infusion went well but he didn't eat a whole lot. He is now having a hard time swallowing. We went back to the room for a while to rest after his infusion before radiation. I decided to try to get him to eat some more before we headed over to his next appointment. He drank a small coke float and ate a few ramen noodles. After his radiation the nutritionist came out to talk to me. He had lost another five pounds since last week when she saw him last. So her advice was to add anything fattening we could such as olive oil, peanut butter, cream, butter. She also said drink ensure or boost plus which has an additional 100 plus calories. So when we got back to the lodge I headed out to find some soft fattening foods. I told Pop that this goes against everything that I have been trained to do in the last ten years. Everything I am used to buying is sugar-free and fat-free and now I am reading labels trying to find the highest fat and highest calorie food I can. Mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, milk shakes made with heavy cream, mashed sweet potatoes, melted cheddar cheese, grape juice. Did you know that two tablespoons of olive oil has 120 calories? So for dinner he had a sliced tomato covered with olive oil and salt, a bowl of melted cheese (which has about 200 calories) and a bottle of grape juice (which has 200 calories). I believe we got about 600 calories for dinner. So this morning I broke the rules and brought up a banana and a bottle of grape juice. 300 calories, only 2000 more to go. The nutritionist said 2100 at least, preferrably 2400. Treatment today is not until 3pm so until then we are gonna eat, or drink, as much as I can force down him. Shannon