Having a hard time posting tonight. I wish we could post good news, and I am searching for some to report. No mistake there is positive and we are determined to focus on it and not the negative. But its still tough. For an instant today I was mad .... at God, no less. Can't help thinking my sisters and our spouses as well as Pop felt the same way for an instant. Not sure about them but my anger kinda slipped into brokenness and now I'm not sure what I feel. Before anyone panics, I never stopped loving God, nor trusting in Him, I was just angry with Him for a bit. I'm not totally certain but I believe the whole Weaver offspring set probably shared the same feelings today. Seeing Sonya fight back tears today welled that protective big brother instinct and I had no ability to fix it. Knowing Shannon and Pop were visiting the doctors and getting the test results without Sonya and I there to share hugs and tears knotted my stomach. Quite simply ... Cancer sucks!
I guess I better quit my whining and catch you up. Pop and Shannon left for that amazing God infested place called Moffitt Cancer Center yesterday for Pop to undergo some test. I think he had another CAT scan and PET scan to see how well the radiation and the first bit of chemo and trial drugs performed. They were to stay the night and get the tests results today. From the best I could understand, Pop got the results from the CAT scan but not the PET scan. The CAT scan showed more areas in the other lung that appeared to be consistent with cancer (they grew since the last scan). Pop's doctor also advised him to consider getting a stint in his esophagus to keep it open so that he could get back to his chemo treatments. He encouraged him to check that option out fairly soon. We were unable to determine how well the radiation worked without the results of the PET scan. Not sure when we are to get those results or when Pop has another doctors appointment. Shannon has been a trooper in keeping up with that. Lets pray the PET scan shows positive progress.
Now for the positives .... Pop has maintained his weight (woohoo!!)and the doctor said he didn't appear to be any thinner than last time he saw him. Maintaining his weight through a feeding tube is a major accomplishment and we hope we can turn that tide just a little and actually gain a little. Shannon reported that although being a little short of breath Pop walked to all his appointments and believe this, Moffitt is bigger than it looks from the outside. Pop was a little tired. He did good but with the results shared today we were a little afraid that Pop would get discouraged. Shannon did ask him if he was going to do chemo again and Pop said "what choice do I have"? That was encouraging to us to know that Pop was still determined to fight. We hope and pray that he keeps that determination. The way we chose to look at it is every day is one more day and one more chance at a miracle. What is amazing is this journey is only a little over 6 months long, it seems like an eternity. We may have a lot of fight left but we have a lot of fight left in us. Pop is a Weaver .... and Weavers don't quit, at least that was what we were taught since birth. Kinda goes along with the hard-headedness obviously born and bred into us. Pop is tired though and I ask that all keep praying for strength and endurance for him. Pray that he is able to get out more and get his blood flowing. Pray for healing in the esophagus. Pray his spirit remains strong and his determination steadfast. Pray that he feels all the love that His God and all his many friends have for him. Pray for less pain. Pray for the doctors discernment in treatment options. Pray for Gods mercy and will. Pray! Pray! Pray!
And God btw I'm not mad anymore! Broken, hurt, a bit discouraged ..... yes. But not angry. Thank you for being a patient God that is big enough to handle our fits and still love us! We love you and I know Pop loves you. Treat him with mercy please. Look over him and comfort him. Cover him with the peace that you are there and that you will never ever leave him.
We will try .... I promise, to keeping loving You and loving people.
And may you receive all the praise, honor and glory
Amen
TW
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
stretch 2
Took Pop to the doctor today to get a good esophagus stretching. Nothing like having your espohagus stretched. Keeps the wrinkles out. Might keep this a secret as it may catch on as the next fad like botox or tummy tucks. Seriously though ..... Pop made the trip well and even saw him chuckle a little telling a story on the way up. The procedure didn't take long and Pop looked pretty tattered when I went back to be briefed by the nurse. She told him no steak today but maybe a really tender filet in a couple days. The doctor even mentioned it so Pop must have been lobbying all of them to get him where he is able to eat a juicy steak. I know it may be silly but tonight my prayers are for a tender juicy filet and a pain free consumption by Pop. Gonna take lots of prayers, as a simple glass of water hurts to swallow and Shannons facebook post informed us that Pop was in some pain tonight. (prayer warriors take notice) Hope it is short lived pain so he will be able to swallow tomorrow. Gotta get some nutrition in him. He is beginning to look like the pictures when he and Mom got married. She told me one time he was a whooping 135 pounds back then. A bit older now but still a handsome man none the less.
Wish he would feel better and get some energy back. Gotta keep praying for that miracle that God has in store. Until then we will walk this journey one step at a time.
Thanks everyone for the wonderful turn out at the relay fund raisers. If you need a team to walk with ..... loads of hope is taking volunteers. Come walk .... come visit ..... come support ......but just come. Check with Sonya or Shannon at LPFR to find out how to sign up. Heck we would like to see thousands at the field for the Relay for Life event. Cancer has touched us all .... weather we know it or not. See you there?
It would be remiss if I left out of this post some spiritual dessert. Last couple weeks it seems everyone we know and love is fighting or family member is fighting cancer in some form or fashion. Its been overwhelming, but it has brought forth a scripture that I cannot get out of my mind. It was mentioned in the last post and it just won't go away. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18. In a nutshell it says, focus on the unseen for it is eternal. That which we see is temporary. God must know that with all that is going on I am apt to lose my focus. Maybe He is reminding us to keep focused on that which is most important......that which is unseen. Makes me wonder what the unseen looks like or sounds like ..... certainly something to look forward to, of this I am sure.
Until next time
Love God ~ Love People
TW
Wish he would feel better and get some energy back. Gotta keep praying for that miracle that God has in store. Until then we will walk this journey one step at a time.
Thanks everyone for the wonderful turn out at the relay fund raisers. If you need a team to walk with ..... loads of hope is taking volunteers. Come walk .... come visit ..... come support ......but just come. Check with Sonya or Shannon at LPFR to find out how to sign up. Heck we would like to see thousands at the field for the Relay for Life event. Cancer has touched us all .... weather we know it or not. See you there?
It would be remiss if I left out of this post some spiritual dessert. Last couple weeks it seems everyone we know and love is fighting or family member is fighting cancer in some form or fashion. Its been overwhelming, but it has brought forth a scripture that I cannot get out of my mind. It was mentioned in the last post and it just won't go away. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18. In a nutshell it says, focus on the unseen for it is eternal. That which we see is temporary. God must know that with all that is going on I am apt to lose my focus. Maybe He is reminding us to keep focused on that which is most important......that which is unseen. Makes me wonder what the unseen looks like or sounds like ..... certainly something to look forward to, of this I am sure.
Until next time
Love God ~ Love People
TW
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Holding pattern
Ever been on a long flight and get stuck in a holding pattern around the airport. Frustrating isn't it? Things not going as planned and not sure when they are going to let you land. Now multiply that frustration by a million or perhaps a billion and maybe it'll give a sense of the frustration Pop is experiencing. Shannon posted on facebook recently that she wishes she could wave a magic wand and make a miracle happen. I know what miracle she is talking about. I'm beginning to realize suffering may be easier to experience than it is to watch. Neither is fun nor easy, of that I am sure.
Pop's esophagus has closed back up after the last stretching and the burn that is causing all the problems down there is taking its sweet time in healing. The Drs. have postponed all treatments including any stretching of the esophagus until Pop gets better. Thus the holding pattern. Pop can't eat so he is getting his nutrition through that small tube in his gut. There is only so much you can do through that tube and getting a balanced diet with enough calories is difficult. If anyone has any experience or secrets please share. We are all about trying something if it will work. Pop so wants a big juicy steak and somehow even if we could "juice" it, I'm not sure it would be the same. We are waiting for him to gain strength and heal some before anything else can happen. He has some test on March 24th and 25th that should reveal the progress of the treatments. Lets pray that those tests can't find active cancer anywhere. Wouldn't that be cool? I know it would encourage Pop and we would praise God. Heck we are going to praise God anyway ... no matter what the outcome. Sunshine or rain!
Relay for Life is quickly approaching and with Pop being the honorary chairman this year the Restaurant is ramping things up. I heard through the grapevine that tonight the BBQ dinner fund raiser was awesome. Thank you to all the people who have been so supportive of the "loads of Hope" team. If you want a peek into how we came up with the name check out some of the earliest post here on the blog. When Pop checked into the Hope lodge .... lets just say .... there was loads of hope right there in his room.*L* If you want to join the team just contact Sonya, Shannon, or Toni and they can help you get signed up. Just don't contact me, I'm clueless on how to get that done ..... they signed me up! And let me pitch the "relay for life" event just a little. Great event raising money for the American Cancer Society. The ACS funds, among many things, the Hope Lodge where Pop stayed during his radiation treatments. Amazing place run by amazing people for an amazing mission. Money well spent supporting the Relay!
Got to get some sleep so I will close with this. All you prayer warriors out there, keep it up! Pray specifically for Coach, Wayne, Bo, Syd, Kristin, Russ, Cayman, Dr. Maiden, Chad, Pop and anyone else you know fighting this terrible disease. May they experience joy and peace through their suffering. Joy and Peace only known though Jesus. He is Lord you know! King of Kings!
Keep loving God and loving people!
TW
2 Corinthian 4:17-18
Pop's esophagus has closed back up after the last stretching and the burn that is causing all the problems down there is taking its sweet time in healing. The Drs. have postponed all treatments including any stretching of the esophagus until Pop gets better. Thus the holding pattern. Pop can't eat so he is getting his nutrition through that small tube in his gut. There is only so much you can do through that tube and getting a balanced diet with enough calories is difficult. If anyone has any experience or secrets please share. We are all about trying something if it will work. Pop so wants a big juicy steak and somehow even if we could "juice" it, I'm not sure it would be the same. We are waiting for him to gain strength and heal some before anything else can happen. He has some test on March 24th and 25th that should reveal the progress of the treatments. Lets pray that those tests can't find active cancer anywhere. Wouldn't that be cool? I know it would encourage Pop and we would praise God. Heck we are going to praise God anyway ... no matter what the outcome. Sunshine or rain!
Relay for Life is quickly approaching and with Pop being the honorary chairman this year the Restaurant is ramping things up. I heard through the grapevine that tonight the BBQ dinner fund raiser was awesome. Thank you to all the people who have been so supportive of the "loads of Hope" team. If you want a peek into how we came up with the name check out some of the earliest post here on the blog. When Pop checked into the Hope lodge .... lets just say .... there was loads of hope right there in his room.*L* If you want to join the team just contact Sonya, Shannon, or Toni and they can help you get signed up. Just don't contact me, I'm clueless on how to get that done ..... they signed me up! And let me pitch the "relay for life" event just a little. Great event raising money for the American Cancer Society. The ACS funds, among many things, the Hope Lodge where Pop stayed during his radiation treatments. Amazing place run by amazing people for an amazing mission. Money well spent supporting the Relay!
Got to get some sleep so I will close with this. All you prayer warriors out there, keep it up! Pray specifically for Coach, Wayne, Bo, Syd, Kristin, Russ, Cayman, Dr. Maiden, Chad, Pop and anyone else you know fighting this terrible disease. May they experience joy and peace through their suffering. Joy and Peace only known though Jesus. He is Lord you know! King of Kings!
Keep loving God and loving people!
TW
2 Corinthian 4:17-18
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Streeeeeetch!
This am Pop had an appointment to get his esophagus stretched. Mr Buddy and Uncle Doc had taken Pop over to Moffitt the other day for a visit with Dr. Dilling (radiation dr.) and the good doctor had given the go ahead to get the stretching done in our home county. Pop said,"beats driving all the way to Tampa to have it done." Dr. Thakkar commented that Pop's g-tube looked very good both on the outside and the inside and that he thought Pop looked good now that he had gotten some nutrition in him. Said the procedure went well and he thought Pop would be able to eat later. (the pictures are pretty cool too) Not sure how they stretch your esophagus but evidently it sounds more painful than it had to be as once Pop got out of recovery he was raring to go. Didn't seem like it hurt him a bit. Got home and fed him his 620 calorie concoction Shannon has invented. Once his belly was full he settled in for a nap and I headed for work. Btw I had heard that Pop called Shannon in the afternoon and let her know he wanted spaghetti for supper. My first thought was "huh?" Pop wanting spaghetti? Was wondering if it was someone else's Pop. Maybe it is the after effect of the anethesia. Never heard him ask for spaghetti before although we are venturing into a lot of first lately. The good thing....Pop seems like he is feeling much better and I hope he was able to eat tonight without too much pain. Your prayers are working, please keep them coming. Until later.
Love God; love people
TW
Love God; love people
TW
Saturday, February 13, 2010
God's Reminders
Around the Hope Lodge the driveway is paved with bricks that are obviously donated. These bricks have names and messages inscribed in them by the folks that have contributed and it was interesting to check them out. Each has a story I'm sure.We came upon this one early on in Pops treatment. It was so encouraging to us. Dr. Chiappori is Pops oncologist and Dr. Dilling is Pops radiation doctor. Apparently not their first Bar-B Que as is evident by this message. God sends these little comforting messages at just the time we seem to need them. We just had to share it.
Clowning around in reverse isolation?????
We had to protect Pop while his WBC count was low so we hid our faces. Wonder if he felt protected?
The Battle Continues
Wow! Days are turning into weeks and as I checked out the blog this evening it dawned on me no one has updated it in a week. Again I apologize, no excuses, although there are probably plenty of reasons. The restaurant has been seasonally busy while school, sports, kids stuff, and Pop care seems to take the the rest of the free time. It's all good though and as I have said before "we welcome the blessings".
First things first ..... Pop is doing much better .... at least in my mind. Recently, as you recall, Pop was spending much of his time in the hospital trying to beat a low WBC count brought on by his first dose of regular chemo and second dose of his clinical trial medicine. We had been warned, so it wasn't much of a surprize. What was surprizing though, was the hard time Pop was having swallowing. The Doctors "scoped" him to take a peek and found that he has a terrible radiation induced burn near the bottom of his esophagus. It was the end of December when Pop had his last radiation treatment and that suped up tanning bed on steroids is still having it effects. Needless to say his esophagus has narrowed to the point he can not take solid foods and has a hard time with liquids. A week starving in the hospital trying to get his WBC count up pushed Pop to the limit. He convinced (with a little help from Shannon) the doctors to put a feeding tube (g tube) in to help him take nourishment. The Doctor mentioned to me it was his first time having a patient request(insist) on getting a feeding tube. Pop was determined to not starve. In fact, he had his appetitie back and was down right hungry. He was desperately trying to eat .... just nothing would go down. Pop got his wish and the doctors put a feeding tube in on Monday morning. Its amazing what a little nutrition can do. Within a couple days his color and attitude was much better. Friends have been visiting and some taking turns "feeding" him and I know he appreciates all the visits and attention. You all are blessings! Pop told me tonight he has a couple of appointments this coming week with his team of cancer doctors so we shall see what they have to say. It will be interesting to get their perspective and suggestions on Pops situation.
It seems Pop is battling lots of stuff .... to the point I almost forget its still cancer. Getting sidetracked on nutrition, feeding tubes, WBC counts, fevers, boosts, doctor appointments, and all the other stuff considered "the cancer treatment" is mind-boggling. So much so it reminds us that this is truely waging war on a terrible disease! An out and out war with many little battles, skirmishes, and conflicts from all angles. Battles I guess I had thought about but not really considered. Sometimes it seems Pop is battling the cure as much as the cancer. Doctors do what they can do, Pop does what he can do, and we hope and pray He is strong enough to fight one more day.
Its funny how our prayers change during this journey. I have continueously prayed for earthly healing for Pop, thats the selfish part of me pleading with God to make my daddy well. But my prayers lately have also included that during Pop's journey with cancer for God to show His power and His love in all the circumstances. That God himself will instill His Holy Spirit power within Pop to strengthen him to endure any pain and suffering with joy and peace. That people will see that Pop loves God and that Pop loves people and realize ....... that only comes from God. God loves us ..... and he loves you to .... simply because he chooses to. Cancer or not! What a thought!
BTW - Relay for Life is coming up. Lake Placid Family Restaurant is sponsoring a team, come by and join. If you are not in Lake Placid sponsor a team in your area. This event helps fund the American Cancer Society which supports lots of cancer related things including the Hope Lodge, a place where Pop was able to stay during his radiation treatment. Amazing place, amazing cause, amazing people that are on the front lines of the war on cancer everyday. Contact us if you would like more info.
Love God Love People
TW
First things first ..... Pop is doing much better .... at least in my mind. Recently, as you recall, Pop was spending much of his time in the hospital trying to beat a low WBC count brought on by his first dose of regular chemo and second dose of his clinical trial medicine. We had been warned, so it wasn't much of a surprize. What was surprizing though, was the hard time Pop was having swallowing. The Doctors "scoped" him to take a peek and found that he has a terrible radiation induced burn near the bottom of his esophagus. It was the end of December when Pop had his last radiation treatment and that suped up tanning bed on steroids is still having it effects. Needless to say his esophagus has narrowed to the point he can not take solid foods and has a hard time with liquids. A week starving in the hospital trying to get his WBC count up pushed Pop to the limit. He convinced (with a little help from Shannon) the doctors to put a feeding tube (g tube) in to help him take nourishment. The Doctor mentioned to me it was his first time having a patient request(insist) on getting a feeding tube. Pop was determined to not starve. In fact, he had his appetitie back and was down right hungry. He was desperately trying to eat .... just nothing would go down. Pop got his wish and the doctors put a feeding tube in on Monday morning. Its amazing what a little nutrition can do. Within a couple days his color and attitude was much better. Friends have been visiting and some taking turns "feeding" him and I know he appreciates all the visits and attention. You all are blessings! Pop told me tonight he has a couple of appointments this coming week with his team of cancer doctors so we shall see what they have to say. It will be interesting to get their perspective and suggestions on Pops situation.
It seems Pop is battling lots of stuff .... to the point I almost forget its still cancer. Getting sidetracked on nutrition, feeding tubes, WBC counts, fevers, boosts, doctor appointments, and all the other stuff considered "the cancer treatment" is mind-boggling. So much so it reminds us that this is truely waging war on a terrible disease! An out and out war with many little battles, skirmishes, and conflicts from all angles. Battles I guess I had thought about but not really considered. Sometimes it seems Pop is battling the cure as much as the cancer. Doctors do what they can do, Pop does what he can do, and we hope and pray He is strong enough to fight one more day.
Its funny how our prayers change during this journey. I have continueously prayed for earthly healing for Pop, thats the selfish part of me pleading with God to make my daddy well. But my prayers lately have also included that during Pop's journey with cancer for God to show His power and His love in all the circumstances. That God himself will instill His Holy Spirit power within Pop to strengthen him to endure any pain and suffering with joy and peace. That people will see that Pop loves God and that Pop loves people and realize ....... that only comes from God. God loves us ..... and he loves you to .... simply because he chooses to. Cancer or not! What a thought!
BTW - Relay for Life is coming up. Lake Placid Family Restaurant is sponsoring a team, come by and join. If you are not in Lake Placid sponsor a team in your area. This event helps fund the American Cancer Society which supports lots of cancer related things including the Hope Lodge, a place where Pop was able to stay during his radiation treatment. Amazing place, amazing cause, amazing people that are on the front lines of the war on cancer everyday. Contact us if you would like more info.
Love God Love People
TW
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