Just some thoughts

Here it is late Wednesday night or I guess early Thursday morning and I'm a bit restless. Praise team practice was short tonight but the reflection and prayer time afterwards took a bit longer. It was good to cry out to God and confess we didn't know what all He was calling us too nor how to accomplish it. I can't help to think that Loving Him and loving people would be at the top of His list. I guess the main reason I'm restless though is that Pop is going for his second round of infusions in just a few hours. I visited with Pop tonight for an hour or so. Yesterday was tough. Nausea ...... no.... the way he described it .... sounded like he was just plain sick. Told him I thought it was from the meds killing the cancer, he joked he thought it was the meds killing him. He felt pretty good and he was in a good mood, teasing and picking at me, but his comment stunned me and has made me a bit restless. I know the trick with this cancer treatment is to poison and kill the cancer without killing the patient and it seems the doctors walk a fine line sometimes in acheiving this. I guess I'm restless because until now I haven't been concerned with the treatment killing the body. My prayers have been that the treatment is killing the cancer but isn't killing Pop's spirit. That his hope, determination and fight doesn't die. Don't get me wrong.....I didn't see any of that happening in our visit tonight. Pop seemed determined as always and his mood was good. He did have to let me in on some of the side effects he was feeling from the chemo although he wasn't complaining about them. It was encouraging to see him upbeat.
I know this post is not "in the norm" as my post go, but it is just some thoughts I have been wrestling with. I have tried to chose my prayers very carefully these days as I firmly believe God hears everyone of them and responds. So I think I will keep on praying that the treatment kills the cancer and not Pops spirit. Not just for Pop's sake but for Gods glory.
As I close for the evening I have to give a big Thank You to Mr. Buddy as he is going with Pop to Moffitt this go round. I hope Pop feels well and they have a chance to visit, tell stories, and brag on their grandchildren. The things they do best.*L* Have fun guys!

Love God;Love People
TW